ISIS-ization of Hinduism in Three Days

DAY 1

‘Why are all of you in my house?’

‘We have made a list of 1742 unauthorized books in your library.’

‘Unauthorized by whom?’

‘By us, the Pure Hindu Sena.’

‘But they are all great books of world literature!’

‘Just Western rubbish! Why don’t you have the Ramayana?’

‘I do have commentaries somewhere…’

‘Not English rubbish! Ramayana in Sanskrit!’

‘I can’t read Sanskrit.’

‘And you call yourself learned? Burn all these books. Let it be a lesson to everyone!’

‘Can you read Sanskrit, you who will destroy my library?’

‘I’m Sena Chief, I don’t need to. Burn the books!’

DAY 2

‘Yesterday we cleaned out your neighhbour’s library. We come to you because of the noise you are making.’

‘What noise, Sir?’

‘That noise.’

‘Famous piece of classical music, Sir. Bach’s cantata “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.”

‘So you are a Christian?’

‘No, Sir, I am a Brahmin!’

‘Shame on you! Why don’t you listen to Tyagaraja?’

‘I do Sir, here is ‘Manasa Sadinchene.’ Shall I play it?’

‘Think you are fooling me? Boys, destroy all this Western muck! We will write ‘Purified by Hindu Sena’ on your gate! Thank your Brahmin parents we are not purifying your body – as yet!’

DAY 3

‘This street is troublesome. We had to correct two of your neighbours.’

‘Sir, I don’t listen to western music. I don’t read books.’

‘You are a Brahmin?’

‘Yes, Sir.’

‘Vegetarian?’

‘Of course, Sir.’

‘My advice is, don’t eat western vegetables, cabbage, cauliflower – even potatoes. Ayurveda says they are all bad. A Brahmin should follow ancient ways.’

‘Yes, Sir, from now on.’

‘Good. And, yes, you have two growing daughters? They shouldn’t go out in the evenings. When they go out, they should be fully covered, and you should be with them. Otherwise who is to blame if something happens?’

                                                      ISIS-ization completed